How To Display Higher Value Than Your Prospects

It's been awhile since I posted anything, so here are some great ideas from some of the e-mails I get:

How To Display Higher Value Than Your Prospects

I've been spending a tremendous amount of time
recently studying human social dynamics and
spending a lot of time with experts in this area,
including time in the field understanding their
interpretations on how these dynamics affect
face-to-face sales situations.

In the world of human interaction, social value
determines our "rank" compared to other human
beings.  Business status, financial status,
fame, fortune, and other indicators of power are
irrelevant when social value is taken into
consideration.  By displaying higher social value
than the other person, you are automatically put
into the position of control and authority and
can determine the outcome of the interaction.
However, almost all salespeople lower their status
by displaying lower social value than the prospect.

Following is a checklist of things you need to
avoid doing.  These are the things that salespeople
do that display low social value.  Avoid them at
all cost:

1.  Fidgety movements and tight shoulders.  Taking
yourself too seriously.  Being too businesslike or
"sophisticated" (not laughing or being relaxed) =
very visible self-doubt, overcompensating through
non-relaxed state, as if you're visibly preparing
to deal with any bad thing that can happen. 

Example:  Ever met someone who doesn't blink when
you talk to them?  It is because they are in this
state.

2.  Talking too fast = worried that people will
stop listening to you unless you say something that
will interest them before they leave.  ***Almost
ALL salespeople do this!

3.  Laughing at your own jokes = social nervousness

4.  Saying things like "right" or "you know" after
making statements = seeking validation that what
you said was true, or saying it because others
aren't.

5.  Standing with legs not at least a foot and a
half (half a meter) apart = worried that you'll
infringe on others' personal space.  This
communicates that you have low status.

6.  Talking too softly = fear that you'll impose
yourself on people and their personal space. 
However, talking too loud can also be seen as
overcompensating.  This is very similar to how
people who wear generic clothes are like those who
talk too softly, i.e. they are trying to fit in,
while wearing outrageous clothes is much like talking
too loud, i.e. overcompensating for insecurities.

7.  Moving your hands around while you talk =
trying to keep the attention of the group.  In
the world of body language, this also indicates
nervousness since moving your hands around while
talking is actually a way to release tension
Be careful with this - nearly all salespeople do
it and mistakenly believe that moving your hands
while talking is a form of expressiveness; however,
doing so lowers your status in terms of body
language sub-communication.  Any benefit in terms
of being expressive is more than cancelled out by
the fact that it conveys nervousness and insecurity.

8.  Leaning in = too eager to talk.  NEVER lean in
while talking to a prospect.  Speak loudly enough to
be heard clearly (without talking too loud as in
point #6) or get the prospect to lean in to you, but
never lean in to a prospect.

9.  Facing your body and/or feet 100% toward the
prospect before he/she has earned it = trying to
gain rapport too eagerly.

10.  Chasing if the prospect moves away = hoping he/
she will listen.  If a prospect moves away from you,
move your body language MORE away from him or her and
continue speaking so the prospect will be drawn back
in, but never chase!

11.  Not withdrawing when a prospect does something
disrespectful that you would not tolerate from any
other person = trying to hard to get his or her
attention.  Supplicating.  Displaying neediness.

12.  Answering questions too quickly and/or too
early = showing too much interest in the conversation.
Stick with your game plan and run your appointment
as you had planned to begin with.  Answer questions
after you're finished with your part.

13.  Going back to a prior conversational thread that
was interrupted the first chance you get = trying
too hard to impress them (i.e., when a thread gets
broken off in the conversation, and you go back to it
FIRST chance you get when the other topic ends, you
look like you were WAITING to get back to it.  WHY
are you so eager to get back on, unless you don't feel
comfortable around the other person and you need to
qualify yourself to them?)  WAIT until THEY say "what
was it that you were saying before?" and THEN go back
to it.  If it doesn't happen, *DROP IT* even if it
was good.  This is very very important in conveying
higher status than your prospect.

14.  Replying with overly thought-out answers or
overly logical answers or overly clear/formal
pronunciation = being concerned that you won't be
accepted unless you convince really well.  You need
to know your stuff and what you'll say to overcome
objections, etc., but don't come off as too well-
rehearsed.  Be natural.

15.  Taking too many sentences to state an idea that
could be stated in less time = qualifying yourself.
The shorter you can explain something, the more
PROFOUND you appear.  Why?  Because you're not
qualifying yourself.

16.  Being bold instead of confident.  Here's an
example of what I mean:  Think of a group of people
skydiving and about to jump out of the plane. 

Person #1:  "Yeeeaaahhhh!  Here we go!  YES!!!!!"
This is being bold, not confident.

Person #2, the confident one:  "See you guys on
the ground... here we go."

Boldness is actually a display of insecurity while
confidence displays security and high status.

17.  Overcompensating insecurities = fear of not
being accepted.  Have you ever met a janitor who says
right away, "Money is over-rated.  I would never get
caught up in the corporate world" etc etc.  If the
person would have simply said "I'm a janitor" and
LEFT IT AT THAT you wouldn't have even thought
anything was wrong with it.  But because they instantly
start overcompensating, it comes off as overcompensating
or overqualifying.  The same is true if they bring
it up too early.  If I said, "I'm Frank.  I'm a
janitor and I love it," I'd be trying to be cocky but
it would come off as overcompensating.  BE COMFORTABLE
WITH YOURSELF AND WHO YOU ARE.

I've seen salespeople violate this in various ways.
For example, salespeople who are dressed down will
say things to prospects like, "I'm casual today since
I was planning to be in the office all day."  This is
like the janitor I just mentioned - it's overcompensating.
Don't bring it up at all.  If you're a man and you
didn't shave that morning, or your car is filthy, or any
number of things, don't overcompensate for it by making
excuses for it.  Just don't bring it up.  Act as if
everything is perfectly fine and don't bring it up
in the first place.

18.  Overcompensating failure or shortcomings = fear
of being judged.  If you do poorly on a presentation
to a prospect or manager, do NOT say things like "I'm
really tired today."  Even if you ARE really tired,
the mere act of saying it comes off as qualifying
to the other person.  Like in the previous point, just
don't bring it up!

19.  Going backwards in the appointment if the prospect
asks to = being too eager to please.  If you've already
handled those issues, DO NOT let the prospect rewind
and set you back.  Professionally continue according
to your game plan and handle those issues when you're
done and when it's convenient for you to do so, such
as when you're ready to hear and answer the prospect's
questions.

20.  Waiting too long if the prospect leaves or delays
for any reason = too eager.  If you show up for an
appointment and have been waiting for 20 minutes, DO
NOT sit there for another 20 waiting to see the prospect.
Kindly explain to the prospect's assistant or staff
that you have other appointments waiting and must
reschedule, even if you don't.  DO NOT EVER let a
prospect disrespect your time like this.

21.  Verbally offering too much about yourself too
early = too eager to impress them.  Examples:  Saying
things like "I just got back from vacation in _______
great place" or "I just got my Rolex fixed" or "My
BMW is due for service."  People will PICK UP on the
fact that you're trying too hard to impress them with
superficial things.  Don't give your resume too early!
You should convey your personality through YOUR
PERSONALITY and nothing else.

22.  Entertaining = coming off as too eager or too
try-hard.  Save the funny jokes and great stories for
your friends and co-workers.

23.  Wanting rapport with someone who didn't earn
it.  ***Almost all salespeople do this and it is
extremely counter-productive!  I've been very vocal
on this.  Salespeople will look around a prospect's
office and inquire about irrelevant things like a
picture on the wall or some random object on the
prospect's desk.  WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS
FROM THIS RANDOM PERSON???????  If you wouldn't have
any genuine interest in these things from a random
person on the street, don't feign interest with your
prospects.

24.  Talking without feedback.  When you're talking
to someone and they don't give feedback or any
interaction, you keep talking and talking yourself
into a downward spiral.  You sense that you're now
qualifying yourself so you overcompensate even more
by talking and talking more and more.  You now feel
inferior because you've qualified yourself and are
left treading water, grabbing at ANYTHING that may
impress the other person.  Avoid this by not talking
too much unless they give some feedback.  In the
field you do this by deliberately pausing and FORCING
them to fill in the awkward gaps.

Alright, that's my short checklist.  Follow these
guidelines and you'll sub-communicate higher social
value to your prospects (and everyone else you
interact with) and will close a significantly higher
percentage of sales than you are now, assuming
you have been violating one or more of these points.

And if you want the whole story and a wealth of
mind-blowing information that will blow your sales
right through the roof, check out The Sales Mastery
Program.  It's JAM-PACKED with super-valuable
information that will make your sales numbers explode!
For more information please visit:

http://www.dontcoldcall.com

And if you've been a subscriber for a while and still
haven't gotten your copy of Cold Calling Is A Waste Of
Time:  Sales Success In The Information Age, don't
wait another day!  Visit:

http://www.nevercoldcall.com/products.htm

Thanks again for reading.  Good luck and happy selling!

Your friend,
Frank J. Rumbauskas, Jr.
www.nevercoldcall.com
www.dontcoldcall.com

--------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2006 Frank J. Rumbauskas, Jr. and FJR
Advisors, LLC.  All rights reserved.  "Cold Calling
Is A Waste Of Time:  Sales Success In The Information
Age" and "Never Cold Call Again" are registered
trademarks of FJR Advisors, LLC.

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