Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Trust me.!?


Day 3 of 3 featuring articles from the Sales SheBang is from Jeanette Nyden :

Negotiating with someone you do not trust is challenging, and in some circumstances, that cannot be avoided. Two common questions often arise when faced with negotiating with the untrustworthy:

"How do I negotiate with someone I do not trust", and

"Wouldn't I have 'sucker' written on my forehead?"

When faced with a situation where you must negotiate, and you do not want to been seen as giving in, follow these two powerful steps.

Be honest about the situation.

Be upfront about your feelings. It serves no purpose to deny or avoid the fact that you have lost trust in the other person, especially if you have no choice but to negotiate with that person or company. There are two ways of having an honest conversation about lost trust: The wrong way and the right way.

The wrong way to start a conversation would be to use an inflammatory statement like, "I should never have trusted you when you promised to pay this past due balance." This type of comment is sure to erode any chance of negotiating a solution to the past due amount. With any hope of a solution gone, your alternatives are bleak: Write off the amount or sue for it. In either situation you lose time, money and peace of mind.

The right way of saying the same thing might sound something like, "I was expecting the payment for the past due amount that you promised to pay my company. My fear is that I cannot trust any more promises that you make." This statement is clear, honest, and more importantly powerful. It lays out the situation without unnecessary histrionics, blame or threats. There is no question about where you stand, yet, if the other person has an explanation, he is likely to tell you about it. Additionally, this more powerful statement allows the other person to apologize and offer to make the situation right again, like sending a courier over today with cash.

Establish some benchmarks.

Benchmarks are clearly defined measures to ensure that the other party's actions are conforming to their verbal promises. When someone has broken promises ask for more safeguards from him than you usually would under normal circumstances. Benchmarks can be positive or punitive. Positive benchmarks, though, will be more effective than the punitive ones.

A punitive benchmark would look like this: "If you fail to pay the next three invoices COD, we will initiate legal proceedings for the past due amount."

A positive benchmark might look like this: "If you pay the next three invoices COD, we will reinstate your credit terms."

Both situations set up the same performance standard, are clear and ought to motivate the other party to action. But, as you know the carrot has better results than the stick.

Trust can be negotiated back into a relationship. By being honest and by setting some benchmarks, you will negotiate with confidence, and you will not look like a 'sucker' for believing the promises once again.

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Jeanette Nyden, a business attorney, negotiation skills trainer, speaker and author, is the founder of J. Nyden & Co., a negotiation skills training company. For more information including free articles, pod casts and a blog, visit www.jnyden.com . To bring Jeanette into your company, call 206-723-3472 or email her at jn@jnyden.com

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